eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
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Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Good thing I've started drinking again
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves