i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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