I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
