god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.