You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
