Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
