We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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