Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
