I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
