That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
