So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
