i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
