im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
