I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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