were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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