About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
