On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
