Well apparently he's into motor boating.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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