im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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