fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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