hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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