Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
