New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
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I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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