Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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