I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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