we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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