do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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