I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
