At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
