It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
