Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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