so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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