shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
