Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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