Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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