Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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