i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
