So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
