if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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