My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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