i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize