Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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