Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
