WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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