It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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