Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...

  (435): View more from Utah

  A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?

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  (801): Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah... (435): A message to Mrs Obama perhaps? http://tfl.nu/yprl
  Replies (8) Good night (1106) Bad night (509)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off

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  (617): my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off http://tfl.nu/ogtq
  Replies (36) Good night (4707) Bad night (1831)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.

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  (240): I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it. http://tfl.nu/okvp
  Replies (4) Good night (4493) Bad night (968)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training

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  (224): woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training http://tfl.nu/euvl
  Replies (10) Good night (4399) Bad night (774)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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  (203): Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one. http://tfl.nu/lrd9
  Replies (6) Good night (3794) Bad night (683)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?

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  (973): She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike? http://tfl.nu/jtxw
  Replies (10) Good night (3256) Bad night (717)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct

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  (262): This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct http://tfl.nu/f86t
  Replies (6) Good night (1290) Bad night (598)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?

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  (201): I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this? http://tfl.nu/60aa
  Replies (6) Good night (1076) Bad night (612)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.

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  (202): Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked. http://tfl.nu/s7s6
  Replies (6) Good night (609) Bad night (1119)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you

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  (484): Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you http://tfl.nu/s4l7
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (317)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.

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  (701): Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year. http://tfl.nu/wvcz
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (335)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?

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  (202): Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina? http://tfl.nu/ofgw
  Replies (6) Good night (543) Bad night (330)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up

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  (850): I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up http://tfl.nu/4e9b
  Replies (3) Good night (570) Bad night (288)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.

  (682): View more from Texas

  That's completely alright, I do it a lot.

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  (817): Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself. (682): That's completely alright, I do it a lot. http://tfl.nu/7is7
  Replies (5) Good night (521) Bad night (179)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.

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  (423): I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover. http://tfl.nu/e91a
  Replies (5) Good night (479) Bad night (240)

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