Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.

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  (813): This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along. http://tfl.nu/9dyn
  Replies (22) Good night (4678) Bad night (686)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I can feel you judging me through the phone.

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  (703): I can feel you judging me through the phone. http://tfl.nu/i7dh
  Replies (14) Good night (1325) Bad night (3507)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.

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  (325): Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with. http://tfl.nu/wag5
  Replies (13) Good night (3367) Bad night (1251)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"

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  (248): I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train" http://tfl.nu/x0cf
  Replies (32) Good night (3471) Bad night (1003)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.

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  (734): Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month. http://tfl.nu/t4ti
  Replies (14) Good night (4512) Bad night (803)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.

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  (662): Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing. http://tfl.nu/08ze
  Replies (10) Good night (806) Bad night (3545)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed

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  (765): She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed http://tfl.nu/bbsg
  Replies (18) Good night (1869) Bad night (4130)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.

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  (918): I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xikz
  Replies (27) Good night (3736) Bad night (1971)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.

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  (201): Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory. http://tfl.nu/a6d4
  Replies (4) Good night (2261) Bad night (1231)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?

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  (570): Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer? http://tfl.nu/m731
  Replies (20) Good night (1670) Bad night (689)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.

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  (240): Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood. http://tfl.nu/tqto
  Replies (3) Good night (1090) Bad night (506)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars

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  (608): The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars http://tfl.nu/t0d7
  Replies (8) Good night (1065) Bad night (648)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge

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  (404): I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge http://tfl.nu/wfh9
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (342)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  can anyone on this campus do anything sober?

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  (574): can anyone on this campus do anything sober? http://tfl.nu/gpdm
  Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (751)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?

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  (713): Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink? http://tfl.nu/qwz5
  Replies (10) Good night (1333) Bad night (372)

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