Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.

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  (617): he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home. http://tfl.nu/gpi6
  Replies (32) Good night (8446) Bad night (1506)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.

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  (905): She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was. http://tfl.nu/uuuj
  Replies (14) Good night (1766) Bad night (5358)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.

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  (785): He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me. http://tfl.nu/3her
  Replies (11) Good night (749) Bad night (2379)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.

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  (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real. http://tfl.nu/3nu3
  Replies (32) Good night (2470) Bad night (6648)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.

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  (859): I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there. http://tfl.nu/fp94
  Replies (6) Good night (2167) Bad night (805)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.

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  (616): youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for. http://tfl.nu/hm3o
  Replies (7) Good night (1103) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.

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  (910): I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend. http://tfl.nu/txzp
  Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (1082)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."

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  (325): We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget." http://tfl.nu/mx4s
  Replies (4) Good night (2051) Bad night (679)
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  (619): View more from California

  So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.

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  (619): So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole. http://tfl.nu/on15
  Replies (3) Good night (507) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else

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  (954): I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else http://tfl.nu/v2q6
  Replies (4) Good night (1173) Bad night (345)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol

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  (520): Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol http://tfl.nu/prhk
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (313)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.

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  (315): Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade. http://tfl.nu/7c7r
  Replies (4) Good night (556) Bad night (370)
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  (347): View more from New York

  May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.

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  (347): May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds. http://tfl.nu/1o7l
  Replies (1) Good night (231) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?

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  (402): Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet? http://tfl.nu/47yu
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water

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  (412): He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water http://tfl.nu/m4um
  Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (104)

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