Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀