I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
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hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
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What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life