your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
