If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
