She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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