Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
