The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize