I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
