Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
no, he came in my armpit
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
