it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
