Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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