So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
