eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
