Non-Jews are for practice
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
