part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
