I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Terrible idea I love it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
