I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All the doctor said was why
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
