I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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