Sry I called you an 8
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
