he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
