I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
